American Idol: Sparks fly

If only all of the results shows could have been this entertaining. The two-hour season finale was jam-packed with musical performances (more than the Grammy's seem to be able to handle in twice the time slot) and it flew by. By the time 9 o'clock rolled around, I forgot what the actual purpose of the show was.

In the end, the winner was no big surprise. The 17-year-old standout from Glendale, Arizona was crowned this year's American Idol. With Melinda tossed out of the way last week, this one was a no-brainer. Let's hope Jordin can survive the schlocky first single to record something more listenable and lively. And let's hope next year affords us more "getting-to-know-you" time with the contestants instead of the banal banter between Simon and Ryan.

Now, I have a few awards of my own to hand out (based on tonight's show)

The "Prettiest Idol Award" goes to Carrie Underwood. Hands down. That girl has some nice hair and a good makeup artist on her side.

The "Wow! She Really Does Sound Like Gladys Knight Award" goes to Melinda Doolittle. Sure, it was fun for her to perform along side the Winans rather than behind them, but hearing her sing with Gladys Knight (a great vocal match) was testament to what a set of pipes she has.

The "I Never Thought I'd See Them Perform on American Idol Award" goes to Green Day. Green Day?!? On American Idol?!? Is the show big enough now that their appearance doesn't constitute accusations of selling out?

The "Turn Off That Ridiculous Fan Award" goes to Sanjaya Malakar. Where did they get that stupid fan from? I don't need to see his hair blowing wildly like he's some rock star. Memo to Sanjaya: Your 15 minutes are almost up. Take the offer from Pantene (next to Joe Perry's fried mop, your locks look luscious (but the fan trick was still stupid))

The "Way Too Old to Be Performing on American Idol Award" goes to Bette Midler (sorry Tony Bennett). Retire that tired old "Wind Beneath My Wings" already. Bette should have taken her cue from Mr. Bennett and dressed her age. What was that pleather skirt all about anyway?

The "Hey! They Sound Pretty Good Award" goes to Lakisha Jones and Phil Stacey. Both should do well in the hands of professionals who can guide them to succesful sounds and careers.

The "Will Somebody Please Strap That Woman Down Award?!?" goes to Paula Abdul for always getting caught up in the moment. Once a Laker girl, always a Laker girl, I guess.

And finally, the "Lovable, but Not Living Up To Their Potential Award" goes to Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard. Ruben's voice is still full of velvety goodness and Taylor is still such a ball of energy on stage (yay harmonica!) that I can only hope they'll continue to plug away.

So ends Season 6. Thank you and good night. We'll see you next year :)