The TV season's last Big Night is finally upon us.
And obviously, the last Big Showdown happens at 9 p.m., when The Shopping Channel puts Master Bedroom up against G4 Tech TV's The Lab with Leo Laporte.
Designer bedding versus geek talk? Oh Gods of Sweeps, how can I pick just one?
Sorry, just making sure you're paying attention. Because let's face it, the last few nights have been riddled with distraction, from that truly disturbing pool scene in The Sopranos, to Sunday's season finale of Desperate Housewives.
Which brings us to today's TV Poll, Part 1.
I'll keep this sufficiently vague in case Housewives is still parked on your VCR/DVR. Here's the question: Did Edie Britt really do what was implied? Or was this, ahem, a cliff-hanger stunt?
Okay, with apologies to Egyptian thread counts and Mr. Laporte, tonight's last Big Showdown* actually involves Lost and American Idol.
(*Warning, this is cumbersome. The two-hour finale of American Idol airs tonight at 8 on CTV and Fox. The two-hour finale of Lost airs tonight at 9 on ABC, creating the time-slot overlap of one hour. CTV is splitting the Lost finale into two parts. The first hour airs at 7 and the second at 10. Meanwhile, a "secrets recap" special airs at 8, but only on ABC.)
Could somebody please come over and punch me in the face?
Okay, let's begin with Lost.
The episode is titled "Through the Looking Glass" and, apparently, the castaways work feverishly to establish contact with a rescue ship.
And apparently, something happens to Charlie. Or maybe it's Jack. No, it could be the fat guy. Oh yeah, and this Bryan Adams-esque quote – "Everything I did, I did for the island" – may untangle a central mystery. Or not.
Also, what is the meaning of coconuts? Where is Gilligan?
You're clearly on your own, people. I turned in my Lost badge around the time I cancelled my membership to the Hanso Foundation's quarterly newsletter.
By way of proxy criticism, I will say this: in the last month or so, Lost has never been better. That's what many of you have been telling me while suggesting my snide dismissal of the series was woefully premature.
Point taken. I shall watch this season in its entirety and report my findings in 2008, before the next season begins.
On to American Idol ... TV Poll, Part 2.
After last night's final performance, will Blake Lewis or Jordin Sparks be crowned the sixth Idol? More important, do we still care?
Going into this week, a quick glance at the numbers shows that American Idol has slipped in terms of ratings when compared to last season's averages.
Many are now asking some variation of this question: has American Idol lost its mojo?
Theories abound: Did producers fail to cast the "right" mix of contestants? Did the offstage commotion caused by Antonella and Sanjaya hurt the onstage product?
Did the elimination of Melinda damage the show's credibility? Are Idol contestants glancing toward Jennifer Hudson and Chris Daughtry and concluding that winning isn't the preferred outcome?
Did the charitable special Idol Gives Back make the show even squishier than it was? Is Ford's rampant product placement driving away fans? (See what I did there?)
Frankly, I have no idea.
All I know is this season has been a bit of a chore to watch. Period.
That said, there were many nights when Idol beat all the other networks – combined. So I'd advise caution before exaggerating its demise.
And finally: TV Poll, Part 3.
This one is simple. Were you satisfied or disappointed with Monday's Heroes finale?
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