'Idol' trio get taste of their own medicine

Now that "American Idol" is down to two finalists, viewers have seen plenty of judges Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell maybe too much.

Oh, don't get me wrong. We're still on a first-name basis, but the well-known trio on the top-rated TV singing contest are certainly not above some criticism, too.

So, while the judges are preparing Tuesday night to pick apart and praise the singers, I'll turn the tables by criticizing the best and worst of Paula, Randy and Simon this season.

Never mind the typical pro and con approach. Here's a critique "American Idol"-style.

Randy Jackson

In his words: We got a hot one tonight! Aw'ight, check it out: I love love, LOVE how you've worked with so many people in the recording industry and aren't afraid to let us know about it. You rock! Randy Jackson is in da house!

In Paula's words: I agree with Randy. You've worked with a lot of famous people. And I must say that you look great you really know how to take a wardrobe and make it your own.

In Simon's words: I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. What more can I say? You do tend to repeat yourself, though. It's like I'm listening to an old record with my mum, and it just keeps skipping.

Paula Abdul

In Randy' s words: Yo, yo, yo! OK I like the way you're actually, like, critical sometimes this year and how you try to be, like, all technical. But you're still kind of goofy and aloof. I don't know you're just aw'ight.

In her words: I agree with Randy. And your comments are occasionally a little flat. But that's OK I'm still your biggest fan. And I've gotta say, you look absolutely fabulous.

In Simon' s words: WHAT was THAT? You say a singer's pitch is flat, when it's really sharp. You say a contestant is safe, and he gets voted off that week. It's like I'm in school and you're the ditzy cheerleader who doesn't know any of the answers. If it were up to me, you'd be gone by now.

Simon Cowell

In Randy's words: Yo, dawg. You know I love you, and all, right? But I can't believe you used to be a U.K. music exec yet had never heard of some hits from the '60s British invasion. I mean, if those bands were around today, I would have worked with half of them. Just keeping it real, right?

In Paula's words: I agree with Randy. But you know what? I love you, they love you, and you're not going anywhere. No matter what people say, you always end up being right. And you look great in basic black.

In his words: I can't agree. That was ghastly! It's like I'm at a wedding and you're the drunk uncle who lurches onto the dance floor and starts berating all the guests. You can do better than that and you better, if you want to keep your fans.