If you’ve been picking up the print version of The Telegraph these days, chances are you’ve seen the ad for our upcoming Telegraph Idol contest.
You may find this news shocking, but yours truly, The Telegraph’s intrepid arts and entertainment editor, has not been asked to judge this search for New Hampshire’s best singer. I think it might have something to do with my professed obsession with ABBA and Wham, but I can’t be sure.
I was also one of the first participants in our friendly “American Idol” pool to get kicked out of the running the last two seasons. Anyone remember Heather Cox, Leslie Hunt or Will Makar? Probably not, but I thought they were stars in the making.
As the only person in my fourth-grade chorus asked to mouth the words at our annual spring concert, chances are pretty good I won’t be a contestant for Telegraph Idol, either.
While I am excited to see our fair newspaper jumping aboard the pop-culture gravy train that is “American Idol,” I think the tuneless among us deserve a contest of our own. Oh, sure. For a while there, we had the faux-hawk of “American Idol” contestant Sanjaya Malakar to carry upon our collective shoulders and sing “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” – (badly) to the world.
But Malakar packed his many hair products and shiny locks and went home ages ago.
Who will step up and be our tin-eared savior now?
Certainly not previous contestant Scott Savol, who eked into the final five in “Idol’s”fourth season, employing what some referred to as his pasty hamhock of despair during performances. Savol faded quickly into obscurity after getting the “Idol” heave-ho.
In the old-school days of the 1980s, Biz Markie inspired us, belting out “Oh baby, you/ You got what I need,” with such off-key muster, who could truly look at him and say, “He’s just a friend?”
For one brief, shining moment, the bad singers of the world had a leader. But none since.
“American Idol’s” most famous hopeless hopeful, William Hung, took up the throne in the contest’s third season, parlaying his particularly tuneless rendition of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” into a record deal, commercial appearances and, perhaps the height of his career, an appearance singing for Ladies Night at the Nashua Pride last summer.
Holman Stadium is also the site of The Telegraph’s finals for its version of “Idol” on Saturday, July 28. Although I doubt The Pride could be convinced to hold a worst singer ever contest among its many entertainment plans for the season, maybe the owners can squeeze in a Malakar Ladies Night sometime this summer. Consider this my rallying cry, and join me if you’re among the few, the proud and the pitchy.
Come on, Pride. We want Sanjaya.
That is, if Nickelback isn’t available.
A tin-eared girl can dream, can’t she?
Welcome to my world
READING: On the recommendation of Lifestyles editor Deidre Ashe, I picked up “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult.
Disturbing, especially given the events at Virginia Tech and copycat shootings, as Deidre pointed out in our Pop Diner blog.
WATCHING: “American Idol.” Duh.
LISTENING TO: I’ve been addicted to Scissor Sisters’ catchy “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’,” which, ironically, makes me want to dance in the worst way. A taste: “You think that I could muster up a little soft, shoe gentle sway/ But I don’t feel like dancin’/No sir, no dancin’ today.”
What are you reading, watching and listening to? Send your suggestions to jocallaghan@nashuatelegraph.com.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment